Yelling for Free Stuff!

Those who know me well know one of my biggest pet peeves is fans who jump up and down, yell, scream, wave their arms, and push old ladies out of the way, all in the name of getting some free items thrown at them in a sporting event. These items may include Frisbees, t-shirts, balls, and any other item donated by a sponsor all for the good of the crowd.

Why are we so excited about free stuff? Is it the actual enjoyment of potentially getting a new 'precious' gift? Or is it merely that we want to be the one who caught the prize when no one else did? Do we just want people to look at us with envy when we caught the t-shirt with the Taco Bell logo on the back?

There are three exceptions when acting like a lunatic for a free Phillips 66 mini-ball, or other item are permitted. They include:

1. When attending a sporting event with a child and the desired prize is sought after for the child. (No distinction needed between wanting said child to think you are the greatest, or whether you want other children to think you are the greatest.)
2. When the free prize value exceeds $25.00 (no less people)
3. When the giveaway item is tickets to additional events.

I am not suggesting that giveaway items in a sporting event are not a valuable part of the event; just the opposite. Giveaway items are an integral part in developing future fans, and fortifying future marital relationships. Let me explain by using an example.

While attending a recent Utah Jazz home game my brother commented how the team mascot always seemed to give his 'free' items away to small children, namely little girls. He suggested this was a waste. I disagreed. In fact I would argue that all free giveaway items be dispersed to the young girls in attendance. Why? I believe it is imperative that all young girls leave sporting events feeling that the experience was a positive one. One young girl who has positive memories of sports, is one future husband who can watch sporting events without their better-half becoming....shall we say disgruntled.

So the next time you are sitting upper bowl and someone walks onto the court or field with a free item in their hand, decide whether your needs for that item fall under the three allowable criteria. If not, now is a good time to catch your breath and rest up for the next big play.