Ahh,...The Masters

Happy Masters Everyone

I am really looking forward to enjoying The Masters this year. From all reports the weather at Augusta is beautiful and the competition strong. Doubt we will be lucky enough to have a Tiger-Phil final round match-up, but it should be enjoyable all the same.

Jazz Poem

A little Jazz Poem
(Inspired by adult twins who still dress alike)

There once was a player named D-Will
He could run, he could jump, and he could make baskets.
But not the baskets you get merit badges for,
But baskets that count for 1, 2, or even 3 points. (This part of the poem doesn’t rhyme)

He played on a team
called the Utah Jazz,
The team was quite good,
They won with Pizzazz! (This part of the poem rhymes)

Heading down the stretch
We needed some wins
To move in the standings
So we didn’t have to play the Lakers or San Antonio, because we can’t win a 7-game series against the Lakers or San Antonio without home court advantage.

So the team had a leader,
His name was Coach Sloan,
If you don’t work real hard,
He will yell at you and probably put you on the end of the bench with Jarron Collins.

We will see how it goes
As we enter the Postseason
I hope we will do well
And I have a good reason………..so I can write more wonderful poetry.

11 Games to go Until the Playoffs! Go Jazz!

True Identity of the Jazz Bear!!?

Do you know the true identity of the Jazz Bear?

Is he:

A. A real 'Bear'

B. Ron Boone's twin

C. John Stockton

D. Luke Skywalker

E. Donny Osmond

F. None of the Above

(submit your own)

Answer in the Comments

Larry H. Miller 1944-2009

Larry H. Miller (1944-2009)

Larry H. Miller past away last week. There have been plenty to offer their tributes and recollect on the impact Larry's life had on their own life. News agencies, local and national media outlets have covered his life, his accomplishments, and his love of Utah.

I don't have a tribute for Larry, but would rather list how his contributions to the State of Utah have made my life a little more entertaining.

• Utah Jazz (NBA)- This one tends to be the most visible to the general populous, and certainly one that I have enjoyed most of all. It is no secret to those who know me that my life becomes completely centered around basketball when the Jazz season approaches. Larry purchased a local television station KJZZ and made it possible for every Jazz game to be televised. He also purchased a local radio station, 1320 KFAN, and broadcast every game as well.
• Larry built the Delta Center where many exciting events come each year. I have been to rodeos, concerts, other musical performances, ice shows, and other exiting live events.
• Salt Lake Bees (AAA Baseball)- Larry Miller once convinced a friend to purchase a triple-A baseball team and have them located here in Salt Lake City. The friend agreed and the team was born. In later years the man passed away, and after the man's family tried to keep the team going, they came to Larry and said they needed to sell and wanted Larry to buy. Thankfully he did.
• Megaplex Theaters- If you enjoy movies, then you know Larry's theaters are the way to go. The whole idea of assigned stadium seating has greatly changed my movie experience.
• LHM also owns and runs many popular restaurants.
• Larry got his start in the auto industry and that business continues to thrive today. With his success in the automotive field he has made contributions that have helped local Colleges and Universities. (BYU Baseball and Softball field. University of Utah Football Stadium Jumbo Replay Screen, SLCC Automotive Department and buildings. etc.)
• Larry's contributions benefited those among his religious faith. Larry funded the "Work and the Glory" films, and the popular "Joseph Smith Papers."

Larry has certainly made it possible for those of us living in Utah to have something fun and exciting to do, and something we can all be proud of. Thank you Larry for filling my schedule with fun and excitement. You will be missed.

My NBA Assist

For those who are unaware, I have an NBA assist. But you never played in the NBA you say. That is true, I was never drafted, never signed an NBA contract, or collected an NBA pay-check, but I still have a stat. An assist to be precise. How is this possible you might say. I will tell you.

During the 2005 Season I was given a ticket and the opportunity to sit on the front row during a Utah Jazz home game. As I sat on the front row a warm sense of belonging blanketed my body; I truly was where I was meant to be. The Jazz players came out of the locker room 30 minutes before the game was to start for a little warm up. I watched as they went through some lay-up drills, and then stood on the hardwood court as they separated and began practicing their jump shots. Then it happened....a ball bounced to me and I caught it. Then I did exactly what John Stockton would have wanted me to do...I looked for the open man and made the pass. Keith McLeod caught my perfect chest pass and drained the 18 foot jump shot.

Who is Keith McLeod you say? Keith McLeod was a 6-2 guard drafted out of Bowling Green State, who played for the Utah Jazz for two seasons (04-06) where he averaged 6.7 points and 3.4 assists. His time with the Utah Jazz was short, as was his career in the NBA.

It is said by those who were there that night that the crowd arose to their feet after my accurate assist, and applauded me. I however cannot confirm the ovation as I was still in awe at my first and only NBA stat. I don't know if my assist was recorded in the NBA log that night, but I know of my assist and the fame it has brought me in my own imagination.

Jazz Season Intermission

ACT ONE of the Jazz season has come to a close. Now a brief intermission, which gives us all the chance to stretch our legs, use the restroom, and go get the cherry lifesavers we saw when we walked in. It also gives us the chance to talk about the First Act. The first half of the Jazz season had some award winning performances by a great cast, but also injuries to others that have given the understudies the opportunity to show they deserve a chance to bow at the final curtain call. Their record currently rests at 24-17. 41 games completed, with 41 still to go.

Listed below are some observations, thoughts, compliments, and gut feelings on the first act, and what we can expect in the SECOND ACT.

CAST

(Lead Actors)

Deron Williams- Although we didn't see this character until part way through the opening act, his performance has shown he is qualified to lead. D-Will has played well over the past 15 or so games, and seems to be finally overcoming his injuries. A recent physical road trip has still left D-Will less than 100%. However, he has a drive to succeed, and should show great talent and leadership over the next 41 games.

Paul Millsap- With the normal lead character Carlos Boozer on the inactive list due to injuries, his understudy, Paul Millsap has stepped into the starting role and proven he is...a beast. Millsap has had some of his own injuries to deal with, but seems determined to prove he is worthy of a starting position.

Mehmet Okur-Okur has shown glimpses of All Star Performances, yet consistency continues to remain his greatest challenge. He continues to deal with an ill father back home in Turkey. If the last 10 games are any indication of his performance in the second half, then I expect great things from number 13.

(Supporting Cast)

Andrei Kirilenko, Ronnie Brewer, CJ Miles, Kyle Korver, Ronnie Price, Brevin Knight, Kosta Koufus- Each has had games where they have shown their ability to shine, yet each has struggled to find and maintain their presence on the stage. Perhaps a little stage fright? AK continues to perform admirably, but his performances seem more and more like he is tired of the same old lines and is just going through the motions of reading his lines. (On a side note: AK's wife Masha has a clothing store, and her television and radio commercials are among my top ten most entertaining.) Brewer still can't shoot, and CJ still can't defend. Our back-up guards are adequate for what we require, but will forever remain understudies. Kosta is an up-and-coming star, who may one day get to see his name in bright lights. Kyle (I could get lost in those eyes) Korver has struggled with his own injuries, but is still finding ways to contribute to the performances.

(Orchestra Pit)

Carlos Boozer, Matt Harpring, Jaron Collins, Krylo Fesenko, Morris Almond- Sadly for these gentleman their performances, or lack there of, have sent them into the orchestra pit. Matt Harpring may have the ability to return to his role in the supporting cast, but for the time being, injuries and lack of consistent talent have kept these five stars off-stage. There is hope that Carlos Boozer can once again return to the stage and perform his great 20 and 10 soliloquy, but until then Paul Millsap has the limelight.

Playbill comments on ACT TWO

Carlos Boozer will return to the starting line-up and with a healthy and rejuvenated cast the team will finish the season with a record of 51-31. This will not, however be enough to win the Northwest Division, but will be enough to garnish the 6th seed in the West. This will match us up against the New Orleans Hornets in the first round of the playoffs. The Jazz will defeat the Hornets in 6 games and move into the second round of the playoffs. This sadly is where this seasons' curtain closes on our performers. We will stand and applaud their performance, but there will be no encore...bring up the house lights,...please pick up your lifesaver wrappers on your way out. Drive Safe.

1991 Diet Pepsi Commercial

Just a little stroll down memory lane.

I love D-Will, but I will always miss John.

"Hot" Rod Hundley's 3,000th game

If you have listened or watched a Jazz game in the last 35 years then you certainly know who "Hot Rod" is. Hot Rod will call his 3,000th game tonight as the Jazz take on the Hornets. Below is a excerpt from the Jazz website:

Legendary Utah Jazz broadcaster “Hot” Rod Hundley will call his 3,000th Jazz game when the team hosts the New Orleans Hornets on Wednesday, January 7. Hundley is currently in his fourth season as the radio voice of the Jazz after 31 years as the play-by-play voice of Jazz radio/television simulcasts. The only member of the original New Orleans Jazz staff to remain with the team all 35 seasons, he joined the organization prior to the expansion team’s inaugural season in 1974-75 and moved with the team when it relocated to Salt Lake City in 1979-80. (Utah Jazz)

Some Popular “Hot” Rod-isms:
“With a gentle push, and a mild arc, the old cowhide globe hits home.”
“Yo-yoing”
“Leapin’ leaner”
“Hippity-hop”
“Good if it goes!”
“Frozen rope”
“Belt-high dribble”
“It’s in the ol’ refrigerator.”
“Looking down the barrel”
“You gotta love it, baby!”

Several seasons ago Hot Rod moved back to only broadcasting on the radio. A move that brought Craig Bolerjack back to announcing sports in Utah. I am a fan of Boler and am even enjoying Ron Boone more recently. However, no one will ever be able to replace the legend that is Hot Rod. Those of us who grew up listening to Hot Rod know that his personal life included "the bottle," yet he always seemed to show up in time to call the game for us.

As the years pass, it seems as though Hot Rod, like many of the great veteran NBA players, has "lost a step." It is difficult for me to listen to his radio broadcasts without feeling a bit of sadness and longing for the good ol' days when he knew who we were playing, and could pronounce the names of the players. Still, when it comes to Hot Rod, "you got to love him baby."

I am sure the time will come when he will disappear from the game. Many will praise his work and remember his name long after he is gone. But I don't think a man of his greatness will simply pass away; rather I think with " a gentle push, and a mild arc" he will sort of just hit home. And when that day comes, I imagine a banner with his name will be raised, and during every Jazz game, Hot Rod will be calling the game for those who have gone before us. He may even have a bottle in his hands. Congratulations Hot Rod.

Barden's goals for 2009

As the calender rolls into another January, it is quite common for individuals to set goals for the upcoming year. Barden is no different, and below is a sample of Barden's goals for 2009.

1. Eat more salad
2. Eat more steak!
3. Watch less television
4. Watch more sports
5. Get to bed a little earlier
6. Take more naps
7. Read more novels
8. Read less nutrition labels
9. Compliment others more
10. Criticize less
11. Travel more
12. Laugh more
13. Write more
14. Love more
15. Drool less in my sleep

Barden's Holiday Music List

BEST

Silent Night

O Holy Night

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Silver Bells

O Little Town of Bethlehem

WORST

Santa Baby

Feliz Navidad

Hey Santa

Barking dogs 'Jingle Bells'

Anything by Gloria Estefan

I love Art!

Brian Regan is my favorite comedian. This past weekend I had his bit about art stuck in my head. I laugh each time he discusses his view of Abstract Art. Enjoy.

Yelling for Free Stuff!

Those who know me well know one of my biggest pet peeves is fans who jump up and down, yell, scream, wave their arms, and push old ladies out of the way, all in the name of getting some free items thrown at them in a sporting event. These items may include Frisbees, t-shirts, balls, and any other item donated by a sponsor all for the good of the crowd.

Why are we so excited about free stuff? Is it the actual enjoyment of potentially getting a new 'precious' gift? Or is it merely that we want to be the one who caught the prize when no one else did? Do we just want people to look at us with envy when we caught the t-shirt with the Taco Bell logo on the back?

There are three exceptions when acting like a lunatic for a free Phillips 66 mini-ball, or other item are permitted. They include:

1. When attending a sporting event with a child and the desired prize is sought after for the child. (No distinction needed between wanting said child to think you are the greatest, or whether you want other children to think you are the greatest.)
2. When the free prize value exceeds $25.00 (no less people)
3. When the giveaway item is tickets to additional events.

I am not suggesting that giveaway items in a sporting event are not a valuable part of the event; just the opposite. Giveaway items are an integral part in developing future fans, and fortifying future marital relationships. Let me explain by using an example.

While attending a recent Utah Jazz home game my brother commented how the team mascot always seemed to give his 'free' items away to small children, namely little girls. He suggested this was a waste. I disagreed. In fact I would argue that all free giveaway items be dispersed to the young girls in attendance. Why? I believe it is imperative that all young girls leave sporting events feeling that the experience was a positive one. One young girl who has positive memories of sports, is one future husband who can watch sporting events without their better-half becoming....shall we say disgruntled.

So the next time you are sitting upper bowl and someone walks onto the court or field with a free item in their hand, decide whether your needs for that item fall under the three allowable criteria. If not, now is a good time to catch your breath and rest up for the next big play.

Where were you?

Do you remember where you were when John Stockton sent the Utah Jazz to the NBA Finals?

Barden's Thanksgiving Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Barden has comprised a list of the many things he is thankful for this year. Listed below in no particular order is merely a gratitude sample.

1. Deron Williams signs a minimum three-year contract extension with the Utah Jazz. No further explanation is required.
2. Pizza Hut bringing back the P'zone.
3. The NCAA men's basketball three-point line is moved back a complete foot and now resides at 20 feet 9 inches. This was long overdue. Next on Barden's NCAA men's basketball wishlist? A shorter shot clock and eliminating the annoying 1 and 1. (If a man is fouled, give him two shots please, none of this good luck with the first if you want the second business.)
4. Sonic fast-food commercials.
5. Jason Lezak's final leg of the Men's 4x100 IM relay during the 2008 Summer Olympics in China.
6. Real Salt Lake finally moving to their new Major League Soccer home: Rio Tinto Stadium. I had higher hopes for the name, but am grateful the impressive stadium is complete.
7. Gravity
8. The Super Big Gulp
9. The performance of Alec Guiness in the 1960 film Bridge on the River Kwai.
10. Anthony Kim defeats Sergio Garcia in 2008 Ryder Cup match play.
11. Shampoo plus Conditioner in one
12. The Ronco Electric Food Dehydrator infomercials
13. ESPN's Sportscenter
14. Thanksgiving Point Golf Course-Monday afternoon 9-hole with cart discount of only $12.80.
15. The "best by" date printed on food packaging.
16. The green arrow turn signal at busy intersections.
17. Mr. Clean's Magic Erasers
18. Yahtzee. Not just the game, but also the use as an expression. For example: "Did you hear that gas prices have dropped to $1.70?" "Yahtzee!"
19. The projected Yellow First Down line in television football viewing. This is huge. I am still unsure how anyone was able to watch football and be forced to wait for the on-field referee to signal whether the player made it passed the first down marker.
20. Crest's Pro-Health Mouthwash
21. Peach flavored Jolly Ranchers
22. The butter on Movie Theater Popcorn
23. Bounce dryer sheets
24. The convenience of online bill pay
25. And finally, Deron Williams signs a minimum three-year contract extension with the Utah Jazz...Yahtzee!

What would Jerry Do?

Jerry Sloan is the longest tenured Coach in all of professional sports. He is also 3 wins away from 1,000 victories with the Utah Jazz.


There have been many instances in my life where I needed the wisdom of another. With all that Coach Jerry Sloan has accomplished, he is the one to look to in times of trouble. When uncertainty arrives, simply ask yourself: What would Jerry do?

WWJD? I have listed a few examples when the wisdom of Sloan has made a normally awkward situation. . . not awkward.

1) In my Junior High School days I was what you might call an undersized guard. In seventh grade I came in at about 65 pounds and not quite 4 and a half feet tall. This presented several match up problems with the larger veteran 9th grade bullies. I would frequently be shoved around and teased. It was in these crucial times I would think 'What would Jerry do?'

WWJD?=Run the pick and Roll. By using the individuals in front of me to set the screen, I was able to roll past the big men in the paint, avoid being fouled, and arrive at my next class period.

2) When it came time for me to date, I was a bit shy and hesitant. I would think about asking a girl out for a date, but ultimately was unsure how to proceed. It was then that I thought 'What would Jerry do?'

WWJD?=Game plan. Have a few friends get a scouting report for you and enter the game with some understanding of the opponent. By looking passed some of the important details you may find yourself embarrassed in defeat.

3) While serving a mission in Southern Florida I was repeatedly presented with meals that weren't to my liking. Not one who fancies sea food, I would think of Sloan in those pressure situations.

WWJD?=Make a substitution. When no one was looking, I would substitute the food on my plate with the food on a teammate's plate. I would eat the veggies, and they would eat the shrimp.

4) While my wife was in labor with our first child I began to feel a little nauseous and hot. I began to worry I may pass out. I then thought 'What would Coach Jerry Sloan do?"

WWJD?=Take a 20 second time-out. I took my sweatshirt off, got hydrated with some apple juice and re-entered the game refreshed and ready to go.

5) I now have 2 children and they are wonderful. However, they scramble to maintain possession of a similarly wanted toy. Whenever I am uncertain how to handle the situation, I think of Jerry.

WWJD?=Jump Ball!

When you find yourself in times of trouble, take a minute and decide, "What would Jerry Sloan do?" He undoubtedly has the answer.